Lost
by brown eyed stardust
Summary: Abused and forced to witness his mother's brutal murder, Theodore lives an unhappy, mainly isolated life. Ever since Briar-Rose Smith bursted into his compartment on the train, he has protected her as best he could - even if she never knew. She was everything Theodore was not - happy, loud and a muggleborn. However, the war brings tragedy. Previously, Terrible Tale of Theodore Nott


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and Co.**

May 2, 1998

_I found your hair band on my bedroom floor_

_The only evidence that you'd been there before_

Theodore Nott sighed, looking around the familiar space of his room quietly. The broken mirror in the corner gave off a shattered and messy reflection of the hollow body that Theodore still resided in. His messy, dark brown hair seemed impossible to even mess with now, not that he had planned to anyways. Olive skin and choppy hair gave way to grey, cloudy eyes, liquid emotion making its presence known in a cleansing way.

Something shiny and out of place caught his eye as he stood from his current position on the corner of his black and grey bed. Bending down to gaze upon the object, Theodore stumbled. His eyes quickly allotted more than a few tears and his body gave in to shaking sobs.

It was _her_ ribbon. _Her _hair band.

The white, silken fabric shone brightly in the darkness of the room. He could almost see her now, pulling it around her thin neck and tying up her pretty red locks before working on a particularly difficult potion, her pink tongue sticking out to the side of her mouth

"_What are you staring at, Teddy?"_ She would ask. Her dark, sapphire eyes would dart to his quickly, but her seemingly serious attitude would shatter and white teeth would sparkle with the breathtaking release of a smile. His knees would go weak and he would want to tell her, but he wouldn't. Then, she would resume the potion and Theodore's heart would suddenly feel heavier.

He wanted to beg; to plead. He wanted nothing more than to be able to hold her in his arms and tell her that she would be fine. That two weeks at St. Mungo's would do the trick. But, he knew that would be a lie.

Theodore wasn't a particularly great liar, especially to _her._

Black dust and maybe some fine rubble from the Hogwarts grounds were haphazardly smeared across Theodore's face, but he knew there was no reason to clean it. He felt there was really no reason to do anything anymore. He definitely was not attending any of the celebrations taking place in the Great Hall at Hogwarts.

Going back would only make him hurt so much more.

Everyone wanted to believe that the Dark Lord's demise had been only for good. Sadly, those people had forgotten families like the Malfoys, who didn't really deserve to serve life in Azkaban. Theodore had already given his word to Draco that he would speak at both his and his father's trials. When the boy tried to return the favor, Theodore quickly denied him.

His father deserved no one's sympathy. The Dementor's Kiss seemed almost too kind.

Anger swelled in his guts, as Theodore gently scooped up the ribbon from the ground. It was the only evidence that she had been there, let alone been in his life at all. For, they were very good secret keepers. She had made a promise that she intended on keeping until the very end.

Unsure of where to go now, he wished more than ever that _she_ was beside him once more. She would lift her head up proudly and give a small wink, before explaining to him that the solution was, indeed, very simple and that she had read about it in _Hogwarts: A History_. Then, she would politely, but sternly, remind him that he should have read it already and that, if he had not, he must pick it up from the library on his way to the common room.

Sadly, no such advice would be given.

He could see her now, red waves cascading just past her shoulders, bright and shiny and pretty. Dark blue eyes, looking at each thing in her visage with wonder, as if there would never be enough knowledge to learn. Her small fingertips slowly running along the spines of each and every book in the library.

_You know she'll never been the same._

Their voices echoed almost mockingly in his head. But, he refused to believe them, though he'd seen her himself. Her red waves were frizzier and placed in a messy disarray around her face and barely held in a loose bun. Her navy blue eyes were wide, their brightness and innocence gone, confusion and total fear taking its place. She couldn't see anything recognizable and the confusion made her cry out. She was in so much pain all of the time.

It had broken his heart.

_I won't give up_. He had uttered quietly to Eliza, who had been the only other person at her bedside after the battle. The pretty girl had only sighed quietly and squeezed his shoulder affectionately. He flinched at the touch and she understood.

There was only one touch he was okay with. And there would only be one person's touch that he would ever be okay with. But, she only looked at him with strange and empty eyes now, not those navy orbs he'd accidentally fallen in love with. Those eyes that had cursed him, body and soul. Those eyes with so much love and happiness swirling around inside of them. She _lived_ to make other people happy.

"_Why are you sad, Theodore?" _

He pushed his head against the wall in his room and before he could stop it, it began. He cried out like a wounded animal, his screams becoming louder and louder by the moment. He was shaking, his face turning red as tears made puddles on the floor beneath him.

_"Of course we're friends, Teddy. _Best_ friends."_

A tortured noise came from his thin lips before he could stop it. Theodore had always hated the feeling of being weak. His thin, long fingers - _she_ had always kissed every inch of them - found their way to his messy mop of brown hair, pulling at it in such a way that his head began to hurt. Though, not as bad as his heart. Nothing would ever hurt as badly as his heart did now. It was as if something was eating him up from the inside. Theodore couldn't even begin to understand how something he'd always thought petty could give such a strong physical reaction.

Suddenly, his fist slammed into the wall. He did it again, this time in the mirror. He wanted to destroy himself, but seeing his face shatter in the mirror was enough to appease the monster inside him. At least, for now.

_"You'll protect me, right?" _

He didn't even feel the slices, blood now pouring down his face. Sobs wracked his form as he gave into the pain. Screams and hysterical crying echoed through the empty house. He had already lost too much blood. But that didn't register. He just scraped his hands through his hair, and sank to the floor slowly.

"Rose," he whispered, just before the relief of darkness consumed him.

_And I don't get waves of missing you anymore_

_They're more like tsunami tides in my eyes…_

**A/N: Hello all! So, my good friend (we're related but whatever) has asked me to take over her story of Theodore Nott and Briar-Rose Smith from her page! I could not be more thrilled because this story was something we developed together - in one of our in-depth Harry Potter talks. Anyways, please review and follow to watch this tragic, beautiful love story unfold. The tale of a muggleborn witch who was so loved by a pureblood prince, she gave everything for him - risking her life to save him. **

**Song Credit: Ed Sheeran, "UNI"**

**Lots of love,**

**Kit Gracelan!**


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